From the second my son was born, everything took on a different shade. Many things became greyer, falling quickly into the background, and some things became more obvious and others, crystal clear.
There were also things that used to seem so important that now felt almost silly to me. To realize I had this little being in my arms, and that I was responsible for guiding his life, was so awe inspiring that words can’t even describe the feeling.
The next year I was completely devoted to this commitment. Mirroring the best of him and imprinting the best of my husband and me. I chose not to work, except a bit here and there. Besides, I was only feeling inspired to be a mother to my son, I really didn’t feel I had any other type of creativity flowing through me. That was pretty scary after being a musician, singer-songwriter my whole life.
There were times I thought “ok now what”? I was this musician for 20 years and now I am a mother. This is who I am now. Will I ever be a musician again? Will I ever even want to be?
Luckily, I know how to trust those long, dry periods where it may seem like nothing is happening artistically. There were a few of “those” calls to friends, who had become mothers before I did, who would remind me of what I already knew, but was having amnesia about.
I was just gestating…..
